Birthday

I am thankful that my birthday went well and that I had some bonding time with family and my husband.

I feel loved by my husband. 

I am thankful that we can afford to go out and have dinner in a nice restaurant once in while, we couldn't afford it before.

Nervous

I just found out that my medical insurance won't be covering the surgery that I need. Fortunately my husband's insurance can cover 80% of the cost. At least we won't have to spend for everything. 

I feel so blessed that my husband and I enjoy these benefits. If one fails, we have another one to fall back on.

I had a hard time sleeping last night. I guess I'm till nervous about my upcoming surgery. I do hope that everything goes well. I am looking forward to a two-week vacation though after the surgery. It will be without pay but it will be stress free, hopefully.

I am so looking forward to a few days at home.

I saw my nephew and niece last night. I love them very much and I kissed them and hugged them. I felt happy.

Thanks

I am grateful for this day. I managed to get a really good sleep last night in my comfy bed, my husband sleeping soundly beside me.

I am grateful for the hot water that I used to bathe today.

I am grateful to my best friend who makes me laugh and makes me feel good.

I am grateful that we can afford to buy basic necessities and then some.

I feel blessed to be happily married.

I am grateful that my marriage did not fall apart after a huge trial last year. I vow to continue to strengthen out marriage, be more patient and understanding towards my spouse.

Waiting....

I got some potentially good or potentially bad news from my doctor. I have to wait a few weeks to get the results.

Several possible outcomes, my uterus lining is very thick, more than double the size according to my ultrasound. It could be hormonal, polyps, cancer or pregnancy.

I am hoping for pregnancy. I've been waiting for the stork to give me a package for 6 years. Now that there's a possibility that I might be I often find myself talking to my baby.

I hope someone is praying with me for a good outcome.

I can't find out until the next two weeks. So long.....

Turning a frown upside down

My day started with such promise. I woke up feeling pretty and happy.

Things have one wrong early on even before I left for work but I did not mind it, not a bit.

As I was walking to work, I've had some nice people wishing me a "Good morning" I was elated because I felt pretty and nice. 

My day turned for the worse. All the lines at the office died. Fortunately after about half an hour they were online again. I was so thankful and said a quick prayer of gratitude.

My day became even worse as the morning progressed. My boss busted my chops and I felt so let down, I felt upset and I wanted to cry. I don't like being yelled at in public. I wished I was somewhere else. Back home in my little house, safely cocooned in my room. I wish I was still a housewife with no one to yell and humiliate me. I wish I wish I wish.

Life often throws a curve ball. I have to learn to hit it far far away where it will never hurt anyone.

It's a struggle to stay positive after everything that has happened today, the day's not even over yet.

I'm listening to some happy music to help turn my frown upside down.

The law of the garbage truck.

This is an excerpt from an email that I got today which rings so true in my life and everyone around me.

"The law of the garbage truck. Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it, and if you let them, they will dump it on you. Don't take it personally. You just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on, you'll be happy you did."

How many times do you let other people dump their garbage on you and in turn you spread it around? I sometimes catch myself doing that and I hate it. 

The other day, I received some harsh words from my boss and I felt so lonely and sad. Instead of feeling angry against others, I tried really hard to contain my anger and frustration and did my best to shrug off the incident. It was so hard. I just want to lash out at everyone who didn't do their job, I was angry. But I managed to contain my anger. It was one of the hardest things to do! I still feel hurt up to now. I wish I wasn't too sensitive about this things. In spite of all the harsh words and criticisms that I got, I did my best not to spread their garbage around.

It's a difficult thing to do to just sit there, smile and take it, but I'm learning.

I love

I love my husband very much.

I love my mom.

I love my nephew J and my niece A.

I love my brother.

I love my best friend who stood by me, no matter what.

I love my friends.

I love my cousin B. He makes me happy.

I love living here in this country.

I love the beach.

I love my life!